Series: The Princess’s Guard is the Assassin Aiming for Her Life
“A trade?”
While Al was still holding me up with one hand, he used his other hand to dig into his waist pocket. Lord Celosia and his knights stood at alert, but what he pulled out wasn’t a knife but a single piece of paper.
“…That is?”
“A contract between Princess Cattleya and an assassin.”
“What!?”
“This assassin is a bit of a problem. He usually contacts his clients by posing as a merchant, forcing them to sign using their real names, and then sells the contracts to another party after the deed is done.”
“…For blackmail, huh?”
“Yep. And because he’s done it so many times, his clients keep decreasing, but… Since the assassins her mother and their help were dispatching weren’t succeeding, Princess Cattleya grew desperate. She invited that assassin in without knowing about his reputation and left behind evidence.”
“And that assassin…”
“Is gone now. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“…Well…”
Wasn’t that the guy from when Al shoved me in the linen closet? Perhaps he was in such a good mood back then because he was able to find that evidence?
“This was signed by a member of the royal family. Would you be able to get a handwriting comparison done?”
“……”
After shaking the paper, Al folded it up.
“Oh, there was one more thing. She also bought monster attractant at that time.”
“What!?”
“The fact that she purchased that must have meant she was intending on sending Princess Iberis somewhere after that. It must have been a timely blessing for Princess Iberis to visit not long after.”
…I understood now. Cattleya was weirdly happy because she got to use the monster attractant soon after she bought it. Despite knowing all this, Al dared to go along with her plot.
That same man reached his hand into his pocket again.
Lord Celosia and the knights tensed up.
But Al held out not a knife, but a small bottle.
“This was hidden in Princess Cattleya’s perfume cabinet. It’s what she used on the carriage while it was parked.”
“That…?”
“This not only attracts monsters, but it also causes a coloring reaction. If even a small amount remains, it would still have a reaction, even after the carriage had been washed. Especially the wood parts, which would have been soaked through. Even if not, there should still be traces of tampering where the carriages are usually kept.”
“Why in her perfume cabinet?”
“The attractant has a particular smell even to a human’s nose when in a closed room, so she kept it in her perfume cabinet until she needed it. I’m sure she’s already disposed of the drug, but you should still be able to find traces of it in the cabinet. …Is that enough evidence?”
“……”
It was evidence of Cattleya’s wrongdoings that Lord Celosia wasn’t able to gather himself. It must have been exactly what he wanted.
He spoke only a few words, trying to hide his frustrated expression. “What do you want for it?”
“Thanks for not making me explain more. In exchange for all this, I want you to give up on your engagement to Princess Iberis.”
Lord Celosia’s expression warped with displeasure. “What?”
“If you don’t want to, then I won’t force you. I can just go to His Majesty the King directly instead.”
“Do you think the likes of you would ever get to see the king!?”
“I’ll try my best.”
“Are you an idiot!?”
“I am not, but I have no choice, you see? If you refuse me, Lord Celosia, then I have no choice but to go to the king next.”
Al was threatening Lord Celosia, seeing if he was okay with him going to the king. Lord Celosia must be feeling very conflicted, thinking he couldn’t let an assassin meet with the king.
Thinking about it, the one I liked was kinda a villain in this scenario, huh…
“…Do you really think you can escape from this place, you bastard?”
“Do you think you can catch me?”
Lord Celosia grinded his teeth together. That expression was more than enough of a response.
Seemingly satisfied by this, Al laughed. “Please don’t worry. Like I said before, I believe in solving things peacefully.”
Says the man currently threatening the other man here.
“As evidence, I haven’t killed a single one of your precious knights. I won’t make any more trouble for you if you pretend that tonight was a quiet and uneventful night.”
“…You think I can overlook this? This amount of destruction?”
There wasn’t a trace of the beautiful garden left to be seen.
Well, most of that was caused by the duke’s magicians, but the blood splatters on the ground was unmistakably from Al’s knife. There really were no dead bodies, but there were a lot of injured people.
This wasn’t the same as an assassination without evidence. There was no way he could cover up this attack at a duke’s residence.
But Al just shrugged and forced a sheepish expression. “You offend me. Weren’t you the one that caused this destruction?”
“What?”
“I came to the front gates like a proper guest, but then your gatekeeper tried to cut me down. I ran away from there, scared for my life. This residence just happened to be the direction I ran in, only to be surrounded by knights and have deadly weapons pointed at me with no explanation… Afterwards it was all just self defense.” This man gestured, as if he really was frightened by this ordeal.
Lord Celosia raised his voice, as if he couldn’t stand for this any longer. “Are you kidding me!? This is the obvious reaction to an assassin breaking into my house!”
“Assassin? What do you mean?” In contrast, Al, who was as skilled at pissing people off as usual, deliberately tilted his head. “It’s quite cruel of you to accuse me of being an assassin. What, do you have some evidence?”
Lord Celosia opened his mouth in shock.
…Evidence of Al being an assassin… I’m sure he could raise any number of circumstantial evidence, but anything definite would be difficult. From what I heard, Al’s identity was hidden even within the assassination business.
Err, although he did call himself an assassin countless times in front of me.
“J-just look at what you’ve done! No ordinary person could do that!”
“I’m just quick on my feet. Is that a crime? If so, then you seem to have a lot of criminals among these knights you employ.”
“What about your disrespect from the start!?”
I suppose climbing up on a balcony railing and looking down at a duke’s son was disrespectful…
But Al’s smile didn’t falter. “From the start, you say… As acting lord of this house, aren’t you responsible for my actions up until now?”
“Huh?”
“I had no choice but to climb up here since you wouldn’t listen to me, just sending all your knights to fight me instead. I would love to be thanked for that. After all…”
Al fanned Lord Celosia’s aggression with delight. And when he seemed close to bursting, Al stuck his hand in his pocket again.
Lord Celosia and the knights tensed up again.
“…Would you all calm down already?”
“Shut up!”
“Shutting up.”
Al quietly pulled out another piece of paper from his pocket. Soon enough, Lord Celosia’s face had gone completely pale.
“…What is this!?”
“……”
“Didn’t you hear me!? Answer!”
“Oh, I thought I was supposed to shut up?”
“I told you to answer me!”
“Then I shall grant your request. It’s just as you see here. Precisely two days prior, I became the prince of Gentian.”
…Prince?
“What’s that!?”
“Well, you can consider me an ambassador.”
“That’s definitely a fake, isn’t it!?”
“Look, can’t you see the official seal for Gentian? I even have the shogun’s signature written in the Gentian’s unique script.”
“Yeah! The shogun! The shogun is the leader of Gentian! There’s no king! So how could there be a prince!?”
“They made the position two days ago?”
“That’s such a sloppy excuse!”
“Even if it’s sloppy, this seal is official, and it’s an undeniable fact that I’m an emissary from Gentian,” Al said, smiling. “Hasn’t this kingdom been wanting to enter into diplomatic relations with the Empire? And here I am after so long. To think your knights would try to detain me without question, outnumber me, surround me, point their swords at me, fire magic at me, and you still haven’t offered me even a single apology.”
Finally realizing the situation, the knights removed their hands from their sword hilts with pale faces.
“I’m not the one who should bow down and ask the other to pretend like nothing happened, right?” Al smiled wider, waiting for Lord Celosia’s reaction.
“……”
A long silence followed. It seemed like Lord Celosia had finally realized how thoroughly he had been defeated.
Just when enough time had passed that I wondered if I should throw him a lifeline, he finally spoke in a strained voice. “I am… truly sorry, Your Highness. Please forgive us. If you would like, we can properly welcome you now.”
Al shook his head. “I’ll refrain. If you would like to show your apology then… I have just the thing. Please keep my night-long date with the princess a secret.”
“What…!? Just what are you saying!?”
“Don’t worry, I’ll bring her back afterwards. It will take less time than rebuilding this garden, I imagine.”
“As if the king will allow this!”
“I think he will. I am the prince of Gentian, after all.”
It was a stubborn, troublesome country that sparked war on a different continent from their own. The king couldn’t overlook someone who held the key to negotiating with that country. One daughter was a small price to pay for that.
Seeing Lord Celosia’s speechlessness, Al thanked him.
“Shall we head out then? Please hold tight, Princess Iberis.”
“Eh? Hwah!?”
Al jumped from the railing, landing briefly on the window ledge on the floor above before leaping onto the roof. He must have had to put a lot of strength into his jumps, but he didn’t make a sound. The only thing that could be heard was the fluttering of my dress.
He jumped from the roof into the surrounding trees, making his way into the night city.
“…This is your house, Al?”
We were outside of the capital. He stopped in front of a single house built a distance away from the other residences.
“Well, I don’t use it all that much, though.”
“……”
I entered the house, expecting it to be covered with dust, but it was surprisingly clean. It looked like there were other rooms, but the first room had a table, chair, and bed already. There also seemed to be a small closet and a single bookshelf.
It reminded me of a studio apartment.
I could see that he spent most of his time in his house in this room.
“Wow, you seem like the type to shrik household duties, but this is a lot cleaner than I expected.”
“I’m good at cleaning.”
I couldn’t help hearing a double meaning from his phrase. Well, putting his cleaning abilities aside…
“…Now…”
“Yes, now…”
I made for the chair, thinking this was the kind of conversation we should sit down for, but Al pulled my arm before I could, leading me to the bed.
“Huh…. Wait!?”
I sunk into the surprisingly soft bed. But Al was on top of me, making me gasp before I could comment.
The very person who was pinning me down looked at my frozen state with a troubled tilt of his eyebrows. “…Are you sure you don’t have anything to show me? This is your last chance.”
“Eh?”
Show him?
“I’m waiting, you know.”
Waiting.
Waiting?
Oooh…
I dug into my pocket, showing him the large coin I pulled out.
“Pfft-“
Al burst out laughing, his shoulders shaking.
I wanted to tell him not to laugh at me, but he really seemed to be enjoying himself.
“Oh, jeez… Well, that’s just one of the things I like about you, I suppose. But your last chance is over.”
“Eh, w-what do you mean!?”
“I thought my master should have given you something. Was I mistaken?”
I finally remembered after he said that. That’s right! The contract!
“W-wait, it’s in my other pocket!”
“I won’t wait. It’s over.”
“That’s so unfair!”
“It is fair.”
I tried to reach for the paper in my dress, but my wrist was restrained and my mouth was covered before I could spout any complaints.
“Mm…”
His kisses, gentle in touch, were relentless. Somehow, I found a moment to speak. “W-wait…”
Far different from his first kiss, these gentle kisses left me with no strength. My head felt like it was boiling.
“If I wait, then you’ll run away, right?”
“I won’t run. I can’t run from you, Al.”
“…That’s a good line there.”
“Dummy!”
I grabbed a nearby pillow and swung it at him hard. I thought he would dodge it for sure, but Al just accepted the attack with a laugh.
I used a deliberately harsh voice so as not to get distracted by his smile. “You haven’t told me anything yet! Explain it properly!”
Al nodded with a laugh to my loud demand. “Please rest assured, I have actually gone through puberty.”
Puberty?
Puberty…
It took me a good five seconds of thinking to finally understand what he was saying.
“I…! I wasn’t asking about that!”
“It’s important. Do you know what we’re going to do now?”
“E-eh!?”
“Have you forgotten? I’m an assassin. It’s my job to kill you. But there’s just one way to stop me, right?”
“Eh, well, yes, but…!”
“The date still hasn’t changed yet. Our bet is still valid.”
“But the contract…!”
“I don’t know that there’s been a change in the contract. I still think that I have to kill you.”
What a thing to say for someone who was supposedly ignorant.
“That’s why I’m trying to show you!”
“I love you.”
With those three words, my complaints and doubts completely vanished.
“I love you so much, Princess Iberis.”
“…Why would you say that noooooow?”
“Yes, well, what better time than now?”
I couldn’t refute that.
But even if it was true, my heart wasn’t prepared to hear those words.
Through my teary eyes, I could see Al smiling bitterly. “…Are you scared to be loved by me?”
I would be lying if I told him I wasn’t scared.
It wasn’t as if Al was an indiscriminate murderer. He had surely lost a lot of faith in people, but at the same time, he wanted to believe in them. That’s why he wanted to hear the truth, why he wanted to hear what they said on the verge of death.
It was his trauma. There was no guarantee I wouldn’t be the target of it in the future.
But still…
“…I love you, Al.”
His blue eyes widened, as if he was taken aback.
Maybe he wasn’t expecting me to say that?
It was a bit of a problem if he went this far thinking that the feeling wasn’t mutual.
“If that’s really true, then you’re a bit strange, Princess Iberis.”
“Look who’s talking.”
“That’s exactly it. Am I or am I not abnormal?”
“I just think you’re childish.”
“…Childish?”
“You’re like a child who still needs to study how to express yourself through words and actions and how to discern the truth for yourself.”
“…Did you hear something from my master?” Al looked away. I stared straight at this rare sight.
I didn’t answer his question, I instead patted his head gently.
“I love you, Al.”
“……”
It seemed like he couldn’t figure out what face to make. As if to hide from me, Al buried his face in the bed. But the face I saw for a second was bright red.
…He was probably just was red as I was.
The places we were touching were hot. I could hear the loud sound of both of our hearts beating together.
“Will you give up on this request for me?”
If the deadline passed while he didn’t acknowledge the cancellation, it still counted as failing the job.
Al finally raised his face at my question. “Really, I don’t know if you’re gutsy or what… All this from the girl who went completely red just from having her hand licked.”
“Shut it. You couldn’t even see my face then!”
“Even if I couldn’t see, I knew,” Al said, sighing before looking me right in the eyes. I could still see a hint of red in his cheeks. “It’s just as you said. I lost the bet.”
“…Al…”
“Including all of my past life and up until today, I never failed a single job.”
Even in his past life? He must really be the best of the best.
“Since you’re going to force the stigma of my first ever failure on me, I expect a fair amount of compensation.”
I watched as he wet his lips with his tongue. While I was mesmerized by that, he started loosening the ties on my dress.
“Please do make sure that I don’t love you too much. I would like to see you alive… at least for now.”
Well, that was a horrific ending to that sentence. Was there really any way to reduce something like affection?
But my arguments caught in my throat when I noticed how quickly he was starting to deprive me of my clothing.
“W-wait!”
“I won’t listen to your complaints after all this.”
“I-I… I don’t have any experience with this, even in my past life! You’re my first, Al!” Somehow, that’s what I ended up blurting out.
“…You really are good at riling me up.”
I really didn’t want to hear that praise from the expert of riling others up, but in the end, I wasn’t able to make a proper comeback.
And the result… well, I won the bet.
The first thing Al said afterwards was that he could go again, so I had no choice but to throw a pillow at him. Unfortunately, it missed.
Merry Bad End Translations 
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